Forum:2006-02-02. Get Your Season 2 Reviews Here!, by Lord Malachite
Lord_Malachite, 02/02/2006 4:36 AM :To make things more interesting, I’ve actually put all the episode numbers (downloadable courtesy of Flank) into a generator. I then draw a random number out of there, and flip a coin to see whether I review the first episode in the set or the second. This time, it’s another outing from the early days of the show. Let’s see how things go. “Helga’s Boyfriend” Written by Steve Viksten and Rachel Lipman Directed by Tuck Tucker and Larry Leichliter The episode opens at the Avon theater, where “August In El Segundo” is the film currently playing. As the action on screen unfolds, Helga is scowling in her seat, apparently more miserable than other. One row ahead of her, Arnold and Gerald are munching popcorn and enjoying the movie. Nothing out of the ordinary here. A make out scene pops up, causing Helga to sigh wistfully, and she begins going on in a very loud voice about how Arnold is the center of her universe and that one day, he’ll look at her and want to make like those people on the screen and swap some spit. Okay, actually, Helga’s being a lot more poetic and romantic about it, but you get the idea. She’s rewarded for her outburst by being shushed by the entire theater and having popcorn thrown at her. Even Arnold shushes her. Funny, if Helga’s feelings for Arnold are supposed to be a secret to everyone, most of all him, you’d think the last thing she’d want to do is start shouting about them in a crowded theater. But then, this is Helga we’re talking about. Just bringing up her name kind of squashes most pleas for common sense. The movie continues, and we see a female try to work a jealousy angle by making out with another guy in an attempt to make the guy she really wants jealous. This makes Helga’s eyes go wide and she lights up like a pinball machine. Of course! It’s so obvious! She has to make Arnold jealous, that’s it! Helga begins rubbing her hands together in anticipation, knowing Arnold will soon be hers if she can just find the right patsy to complete her plans. It’s presumably the next day that we see Helga sitting with Stinky in the cafeteria. Helga states that she is hiring Stinky to be her boyfriend. “You know, take me places, buy me stuff, worship the ground I walk on.” And it pays a whole candy bar a day! Gee, that sounds like a good deal to me! Okay, I’m sorry. I’m being kind of mean to Helga in this review, and maybe it’s unwarranted. She’s got enough problems in her life. Of course, Stinky doesn’t quite understand. He declares that he “finds Helga attractive in her own way, but never realized how deeply she feels for him.” In a way that only Helga can, she disabuses him of the notion that she likes him likes him and lays it out in no uncertain terms that this is a business relationship, and she won’t be mixing it with pleasure. Getting the picture, Stinky agrees to take the job so long as Helga pays him in Mr. Nutty candy bars. She agrees, then tells Stinky to get lost until he needs her. Later that day in the school library, Helga is coaching Stinky on what she wants him to do. He’s supposed to play the gallant, chivalrous gentleman, pulling out her chair, offering her his handkerchief, and saying sweet things. If you have the episode handy, watch for Helga to sprout eyelashes as she bats her eyes. Pause the frame and look for a second. Amazing how something so utterly simple makes her look so much more feminine, isn’t it? Ah, the powers of character design. Arnold walks into the library wearing a pair of headphones, Helga points Arnold out to Stinky and essentially tells him to man the battle stations. Now color me crazy, but isn’t she basically broadcasting the fact that she likes Arnold? Maybe now you can understand why I opted for the ending I did in “Ceremony of Innocence.” By the time the end of the series rolls around, Helga’s feelings should be a secret to nobody. Er, sorry about the self-promotion. Back to the episode! Helga tells Stinky to help her with her chair, but Stinky pushes it back a bit and Helga lands unceremoniously on her rump. Probably a good thing that Arnold didn’t notice. Undeterred, Helga gets up and sits properly, and Stinky proceeds to switch to the flattery, telling her that her eyes are like two mules. That’s probably very sweet where Stinky comes from, but I’d say he’s just lucky Helga doesn’t slap him one. She looks up, but Arnold has gone. Looks like her opportunity to create jealousy has been blown. . .for now. It’s is kind of cute the way Stinky mops her face with the hanky, though. We cut away to a roller skating rink, where for reasons I’m not sure, Helga is dressed in an extremely feminine outfit. True, she normally wears a pink dress, but it isn’t frilly by any means. It’s pretty practical, considering she plays almost exclusively with the boys, and bests them in many sports. She’s switched it out now for a very form-fitting wine colored top and a poofy pink skirt. You know, this slight alteration in her appearance might do a lot more for getting a boy to like her than this convoluted plan, but again, this is Helga we’re talking about. It wouldn’t be much of an episode if she thought this thing through more. Stinky is also in an outfit resembling a leotard, seems weird to me. All of the kids skating in the background are part of the regular crowd, and they all appear to be dressed normally. Maybe Helga’s just going for a flashy look. Anywho, Stinky is very concerned because he doesn’t know how to skate, and expresses this to Helga. The blonde, in turn, yells at him for being so selfish and only thinking of himself. As soon as Helga sees Arnold and Gerald step onto the floor, she grabs ahold of Stinky and gets them moving. It would seem she’s able to pull him along quite smoothly. She tells Stinky to pick her up when she says so. That’s a lot of trust! She’s trusting a guy she doesn’t even know that intimately, who just confessed to not knowing how to roller skate, to pick her up while on said skates?! Oh yeah, this has disaster written all over it. The mismatched couple execute some smooth moves and draw the attention of everyone, and Stinky does manage to hoist Helga gracefully into the air, balancing her with one hand. For a brief moment there, Helga doesn’t look like the awkward girl she usually is. Then Stinky cries out that he can’t hold her, which could be interpreted as a dig that she needs to lose a few pounds. Technically speaking, it’s true. While Helga usually appears skinny, every time we see her in pajamas, she’s got something of a gut. I’ll elaborate on that when an episode with Helga in her pajamas comes up. Anyway, Stinky slips, and the two of them go careening across the floor, Helga sailing through the air and crashing into the pipe organ. Unwisely, Stinky asks her for payment for the day. We’re left to imagine how that must’ve gone over. Helga does let out a good blood curdling scream before she crashes, though. Francesca Smith always nailed those beautifully. In the next scene, we see Arnold and Gerald happily playing catch in the park. Helga pops out of the bushes wearing a complete southern belle outfit. Okay, is it just me, or is she becoming more of a girl with every scene? The blonde curls are kind of cute, but I’m not sure if they work on her. The flowing pink dress is definitely too much, not to mention the parasol and bonnet. Stinky cleans up good, though. The man looks good in a tux. I think he should stick with the look. Not wanting to waste time, Helga grabs Stinky and tells her to sit with him on the park bench. Helga wants him to pretend to say something “witty and urbane,” and to remember that he is her adoring boyfriend. I find that reminder funny. Just think about it—if you were Helga’s boyfriend, do you think she would ever let you forget it?! Getting down to business, Helga laughs girlishly and exclaims “Stinky, you slay me!” Getting no reaction from Arnold, she stands up, moves closer, and projects her voice in their direction, all to no avail. Some bees are attracted to the flowers in her hat, however, and begin to sting her with no mercy. She runs off down the path, through Arnold and Gerald’s game of catch, with Stinky in hot pursuit. Gerald asks his best friend if that was Helga. Arnold replies that it was. This is the extent of the notice they take, which is perfect. It’s typical guy behavior. It also shows how Helga isn’t even on Arnold’s radar. If he was on the prowl for a girlfriend, he clearly isn’t upset if Helga is taken. We catch up with Helga and Stinky coming out of the hospital. Apparently Helga got stung enough times that it warranted a trip there. She’s also apparently able to cut through all the red tape of getting care from a hospital, but yes, I know, IOAC (It’s Only A Cartoon). Having endured a series of stings on her arms, face, and chest, Helga proceeds to tell Stinky that this arrangement isn’t working out and that they should see other people. Exclusively. Stinky doesn’t seem to get it, so she puts things a bit less delicately and tells Stinky that he’s fired. She then walks off to return to her regularly scheduled life of Arnold Worship from afar. Stinky seems to be left with some unexplained feelings. Back at Stinky’s house, we see that he’s feeling outright depressed. His father tries to cheer him up with a cheese sandwich, but it’s no good, Stinky is just too out of it. Maybe someone should’ve tried bringing him lemon pudding instead. On the playground at school the next day, Phoebe is jumping rope solo, while Nadine chases Sid around the playground. I knew those two belonged together! *ahem* Anyway, Stinky is sitting on the swingset, looking pathetic. Arnold, noticing his friend’s pain, tries to console him. Stinky quickly tells Arnold that he’s having girl troubles. Stinky professes that he’s “crazy in love” with a girl. Stinky agrees to tell Arnold who has him all tore up if her promises not to tell anyone. Upon revealing the truth, Arnold shouts her name out in shock, and who can blame him? Fortunately, her name wasn’t used in conjunction with Stinky’s, so it appears that the country boy’s secret is safe for the moment. Back in school, Arnold and Stinky roam the halls. Stinky reveals that there is a lot more to Helga than meets the eye, and that she isn’t just an overbearing blowhard. Curious, the only person we’ve ever known to see through Helga is Brainy, but now Stinky is seeing it too. It’s also interesting that he doesn’t reveal to Arnold that Helga has feelings for the Football Head, but seeing as how Stinky is in love with Helga, he might fear the competition. Arnold suggests that Stinky should talk to Helga about his feelings, but Stinky fears the rejection and the pain that might bring. It’s rather an interesting parallel to Helga’s situation regarding Arnold. The only difference is, Stinky is eventually able to find the courage Helga can’t. Around the corner, Helga overhears Arnold and Stinky’s conversation and misunderstands, thinking that Arnold has fallen in love with her. She also apparently thinks that Arnold now finds her irresistible and charming. She’s got a healthy ego going, all right. Arnold interrupts her exclamations of joy, and Helga warns Arnold never to sneak up on her again. She calls him a “wing-haired spitwad,” which is definitely original. Arnold reveals that he wants to talk to Helga, but Helga plays things go, as though she already knows what’s going on. She knows that Arnold wants to talk to her about someone who is hopelessly in love with her. I’m not about to go through all that dialogue she uses! It is kind of cute when she’s arching backwards between the double doors to the staircase. Helga sets up a meeting at the park with Arnold’s “friend,” who she presumes to be him, and walks off, satisfied that all her years of yearning are about to pay off. That afternoon, Helga is waiting in the park, carving Arnold’s likeness into a tree with her knife and outlining it with her heart. It isn’t a bad imitation of her locket. She muses about how she’s counting the moments until they are together, and observes that “It had better be real soon or I’ll pound the little runt!” She definitely looks a bit dangerous with that knife! Helga is interrupted by Stinky. She tells him to get lost, because she’s meeting someone, but Stinky reveals that he is her mystery date. He gets down on one knee and proceeds to tell Helga that he thinks they would make a great couple, and that he loves her. Helga is deeply taken aback, but rapidly recovers, mocking his feelings. There’s an adorable pout she puts on when he takes her hand and tries to plead his case. Helga switches to a different tactic and tries to let him down easy, but when Stinky presses her for a reason why she won’t date him, Helga essentially tells him that they’re just different people. She leaves, and Stinky is left behind, but at least Arnold is there to console him. Considering how hard Stinky was crying earlier that day, he seems to be taking Helga’s rejection pretty well. We go back to where this all started, the Avon theater. A rather dejected Helga walks in. The theater is still showing “August In El Segundo,” so she must be really bored. Helga sighs as she realizes that the theater is populated almost exclusively by couples, and she is alone. She does brighten up a bit when she sees Stinky, though. We then see Helga do what she does best—project! She goes on and on about how Stinky is sad and pathetic because he can’t forget her, and how he means nothing to her, and he’s such a total loser, but hey, since they’re here, she’ll take pity on him and allow him the privilege of sitting with her. It is only then that Helga realizes that Stinky isn’t alone. He has a new girlfriend named Gloria, who in the episode “Magic Show” was a figment of Helga’s imagination, kind of like an anti-Helga. It looks like she’s now come to life, which seems only fitting. Stinky then talks about how he met Gloria at the water fountain and they just clicked. He also points out that it’s pointless and pathetic to keep mooning over someone who has no interest in you. If that remark hits close to home for Helga, she doesn’t show it. If anything, she seems to taken aback, and a bit disappointed that Stinky is now taken. I can’t say as I blame her. Anything is better than being alone. But Helga is nothing but not dedicated. She will have Arnold or die trying, no one else will do. Alone again, Helga moves to find another seat, and ends up leaning her head on the back of a chair next to Arnold, sighing wistfully as he munches on popcorn. As usual, she’s back to square one again. And it would seem that Arnold and Gerald are bored too, they’re also seeing the same movie again. Concept & Execution: For all the countless episodes about Helga loving Arnold, this one took a slightly different approach. Most of them tend to be about Helga trying to change something about herself to get Arnold to like her. Helga tries to be sophisticated, Helga tries to act like Lila, etc. The other type is Helga trying to either protect her secret, or ruin Arnold’s chances with a competing girl. This here is a bit different, where Helga tries to make Arnold jealous. And it works pretty well. There is a lot going on in this episode, tons of laughs, and the irony isn’t lost on me that Helga did get someone to notice her, it just wasn’t the right boy. But this episode works on many levels. Helga usually getting her just desserts, Arnold never noticing her, Stinky’s unwitting sabotage of Helga’s efforts. Helga never has been able to win for losing. I especially like the ending, wherein Helga fails to get Arnold and loses someone who already likes her for who she is. But this also makes the episode very true to Helga’s character. Marvelous job! Concept & Execution Score—9.0 Heart & Soul: I don’t know about you out there, but I definitely felt sorry for Stinky when he fell in love with Helga. It was a doomed relationship, but he saw Helga for who she really is and liked her anyway. That makes him past cool in my book. Unfortunately, Helga, being Helga, doesn’t take the opportunity. In the end, she pushes Stinky away, and he becomes another casualty in her never ending quest to bag Arnold. My heart did go out to her for a moment in the end, there, when Stinky had moved on. Helga did look a little hurt. But then, the only boys that have ever expressed interest in her are Brainy, Arnie, and Stinky’s brief crush. In the end, we learn that Helga wants to be loved, but she isn’t settling. She’s got her eyes on the prize of Arnold, and she’s never giving up on him. This is her quest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far…sorry, I felt a song cue there. Some definite feelings here. Heart & Soul Score—7.5 Tilt: It’s got to be said. I just love this episode. It’s brilliantly done, and for all the mockery I make of it myself, I think it’s wonderful. This is one of my favorite Helga episodes, it comes off much better than many of them, in my opinion. It certainly helps that this episode was produced with the first season batch, Helga still sounds like a believable nine year old and her voice work is perfect. The Helga we’re used to later still sounds great, but she’s grown much older than Helga really is. This is also one of the episodes where we see the dichotomy in Helga of a tomboy against a girl who loves romance. Later seasons don’t make her seem quite as overbearing, in my opinion. Just more obsessed. This is Helga as she was meant to be seen. Tilt Value—9.0 Overall Score—8.5 (8.25) Till next time, Lord Malachite “I ask you, Edmund, if there is any sight more endearing in this world than a boy taking his dog for a walk?” --Wolfgang, referring to Arnold and Helga, from “Ceremony Of Innocence” ---- Cool, 03/02/2006 10:30 PM :My god, I cannot believe the replies this week. Now we are past 40, averaging 6-7 posts everyday! I like that momentum! :LM, you amaze me with your ther-o understanding of this series and its characters. You have them so finely described down to a tee I think Craig himself would start to second guess the characters he made and how he set them up to be. Only a toon like HA! could bring characters where fans go do such an in-depth job to see what makes them tick. When you look at many cartoons today, they just lack the depth and the characters seem so shallow. HA! always had a fun assortment of characters and stories over its six years. :These reviews of yours are LONG – I read as fast as possibly because I do have other things to do. Here is some quick reply… :While Helga usually appears skinny, every time we see her in pajamas, she’s got something of a gut. I’ll elaborate on that when an episode with Helga in her pajamas comes up. :I have seen this in many other cartoons besides this one. Like the Simpsons – Lisa is skinny, but put her in a swimsuit and she has an ovalish type figure. I think its laziness on the animators part, as when you draw characters you start with lines and then circles and clean up and smooth out the lines. They just left Helga with a more roundish figure like they were too lazy to clean her up that extra bit and make her skinny and have her legs contour with the sides of her body, not like legs sticking out of a circle. It’s cause her jammies are tighter and show more of her "figure", like tights or a wetsuit. Her dress is much looser and shows no figure at all. Know what I mean? Its hard for me to explain. :This is the extent of the notice they take, which is perfect. It’s typical guy behavior. It also shows how Helga isn’t even on Arnold’s radar. If he was on the prowl for a girlfriend, he clearly isn’t upset if Helga is taken. :I never really read into that as much as you have, but I really see that now. :Phoebe is jumping rope solo, while Nadine chases Sid around the playground. I knew those two belonged together! *ahem* Anyway :Know that I have episodes on my computer; I had to view it to see what the heck you were talking about. Nadine really doesn’t look to be chasing him, they look like they are just playing around, maybe a game of tag? :It’s also interesting that he doesn’t reveal to Arnold that Helga has feelings for the Football Head, but seeing as how Stinky is in love with Helga, he might fear the competition. :I thought it was just because he’s so damn clueless and dimwitted. :Overall Score—8.5 (8.25) :So, do you take the all three things, add them and then divide them by 3? Is that how you get this final calculated result? :I must say, Craig really should read these sometime. I’m sure he is a busy man, but he should take a look at what some fans have posted here at AR over the years pertaining to him and his show. I bet he’d be surprised to see what crazy HA! fanantics we are. :) :Stephen